1 Month Anniversary

Well, it's now been officially over a month since we moved back to Kansas. While I am truly certain we made the right decision at the right time, it's been over a month and still no solid prospective jobs in sight. We are still waiting to hear from a local church, which would be the ideal situation all around, and I have a second interview for a Children's Case Management position with the county, but I hate that nothing is set in stone. I KNOW in my head that God is always faithful to provide for us, and he has been SO faithful...through the many times I have not been faithful in trusting and praying. There's this silly pattern my life follows: an important decision is made...God takes me into difficult circumstances...I freak out and exaust all my own resources before crying out to him...He ALWAYS provides...I promise to trust him fully next time...an important decision is made...you see where this is going...   So, why is it that God has a proven track record of provision, I have a proven track record of, well, freaking out and exausting all my own resources, and yet I STILL doubt that THIS time he will provide? I mean, isn't that really the issue here? My doubt, and his unfailing grace that continues to cover me? And why do I worry so about my life, knowing full well that those enviable birds of the air and lilies of the field are treated with such care? *Sigh* 

Alas, this post is too long already...so I will go on...

I think I'm having one of 'those' days...you know, the kind where for some reason you just tend to let Satan get in little by little until you just feel somewhat worthless, but know better? I honestly don't have much I need to be complaining about...I have a roof over my head, a loving husband and a beautiful baby boy. But, then I think about the lack of air conditioning (my mom's compressor went out...and the Indian Days of Summer are sticking around for some reason), the fact that my son is discovering his extremely stubborn and strong will, the lack of jobs, the boredom, the desire left unfulfilled (for now) for Craig to be able to continue as a Youth Pastor and have the opportunity to be connected every day to awesome men of God and possibilities of finishing school, and the EXTREME desire to have my own place and my own things. Again, *sigh* there is more, of course...there is always more. I have to confess that I really, really, really, REALLY want Craig to get this job at the church. For a lot of reasons. But a lot because after working in two churches I have discovered that I absolutely love teenagers, and I miss them a lot...a lot a lot. I miss having kids over raiding my kitchen :) Right now I couldn't even have anybody over! And then God reminds me that his timing is not necessarily mine. I'll insert one more *sigh* in here just for good measure. 

I guess I'll continue to play the waiting game...patiently and prayerfully...and positively. Thing will work out just fine...they always do.

NOTE: On a very interesting and amazing note, we got a call from a FSM detective yesterday and he has confirmed that Craig's guitar's have been recovered!!!!!!!! This is such exciting news, as we had really given up all hope of ever getting them back!!!!!!! The irony is that he had literally just ordered a new guitar not even 24 hours prior to hearing this news...again, God has a way of working in our lives, doesn't he? Praise Him. :)

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? -Matthew 6:25

So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:31-34